Why I don’t want babies

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I was invited to speak with a group of teachers at an English school today. I was expecting to meet a bunch of boring middle-aged men and women, but since this is Russia, they all ended up being gorgeous young women :) All very nice as well! I talked to them about traveling, TROM and TVP- my three favorite Ts :). I challenged a number of their cherished beliefs about the world, one particular conversation that stood out to me was the concept of having children.

I don’t want to have children for many reasons, but in particular:
1. I want to travel around the world, have fun and not have to take care of anyone else.
2. Overpopulation is a problem.
3. After many years of studying how our world actually works, I do not see a bright future on our planet.

One young woman brought up the idea that having children is an “instinctual feeling”- we’re animals, we have to reproduce for our species to survive, that’s why we want children- and we can’t get rid of this feeling.

But after having traveled so much, I can’t help but wonder how much of this “desire to have children” is actually biological, and how much of it is pushed upon us by the culture we are exposed to.

In Russia, having kids is a BIG thing. This is like everybody’s goal– university, work, marriage, KIDS. Once you have kids, it’s like you succeeded in life- you did your duty, good job. If you don’t have kids, there is probably something wrong with you, or you’re just not cool enough to succeed in life :D

Everybody talks about having kids on a daily basis here! We took a group of college kids (age 17-20) hiking once, and they sat around the table talking about what names they will choose for their children.
I couldn’t imagine seeing this kind of cultural behavior in Australia. When I went to university in Sydney, the idea of having children was very rarely talked about, and when it was, it was usually in a negative way. Likewise in Hawaii and New York. Of course, people still have children in Sydney, Hawaii and New York, but in those places “having children” is not treated as a concept- a test as to whether you have succeeded in life or not. There is much less cultural pressure placed upon having children.

In Russia, this idea of having children is pushed so far by the culture that my 9 and 11-year-old sisters were talking about how they wanted to have children!! Since my sisters have not hit puberty yet, this clearly shows that the desire to have kids is not just an “instinctual feeling,” but very much pushed by culture.

“Now comes the next problem: overcrowding due to culture. It is extremely dangerous because the system is perpetuating the idea that family is the goal of every man’s life and children are part of this idea.” TROM

I particularly enjoyed Peter Joseph’s spiel in this video :)

“I’m not having children. Why? First of all, I wouldn’t feel good. I would feel utterly negligent and irresponsible at this point in time, to bring in another human being. Most people, when they give birth to children, it’s a traditionalized self-serving, established notion where, “We are going to have kids and a family. To hell with the carrying capacity of the Earth, to hell with the fact that we might be impoverished.” […] For me to bring in a child, is for me to actually say, “I believe the world will be in good shape for the duration of my child’s life.” And then it becomes, “What if my child has a grandchild?” Should the world have the integrity to maintain stability for that child as well?” This is the question. This is what all parents out there should be asking themselves. They shouldn’t be having children for their own self-serving needs. […] Humanity has to start thinking about its relationship to the Earth. Until it does so, we’re fucking doomed. We have created an economic structure, a religious-philosophical structure, that is absolutely de-coupled from anything tangible and real, and these ideologies are what will destroy the human species and destroy the planet.”

 

 

One more fun fact for you- the concept of an engagement ring was created by De Beers diamond company.

Where I Actually Am Today :)

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I started “Big World Small Sasha” to demonstrate that it’s not a whole lot of money that you need in order to travel around the world, but a bit of a different mentality, lifestyle and set of values.

Since a lot has happened with me recently, I will quickly explain what I’m actually doing today.

I came to Russia last summer. I wanted to live in Russia for a bit because I became a point of contact for the Russian speaking Venus Project team and I have not lived in Russia since I was a child. I didn’t know where in Russia I wanted to live. Most of my family is in Moscow, but I am not a huge fan of such big overcrowded cities. A Costa Rican friend of mine, Maricruz, planned on taking the railway through Russia in August, so I decided to join her.

This was great for her as well because I ended up being her personal translator, plus we got to stay with my family in two different cities. We took the railway from Moscow to Kazan, Leninogorsk, Chelyabinsk, Novosibirsk, Krasnoyarsk, and Irkutsk. Maricruz then flew from Irkutsk to India. I stayed and went to a festival on Lake Baikal, in a small town just before an island called Olkhon. When I saw Lake Baikal from this little village and from Olkhon Island, I decided that I needn’t look any further for my final (temporary) destination to live in.

I had to see Lake Baikal frozen over in winter! I didn’t want to settle in that village itself because I’ve been living in small towns for the past few years and I needed a bit of a change from small town minded people. No offense to anybody but I hope you know what I mean. In Russia, the only thing people living in small villages care about is having a boring full-time job, getting married and having kids. They don’t think much outside the box. In cities, you can find many more open-minded people.

So I went back to Irkutsk, stayed in a hostel for another week or so and looked for an apartment. I found a one-bedroom apartment in the historical part of the city center, right next to a beautiful park alongside Angara River, for about $250/month. The apartment was super old and had cockroaches in the kitchen that I couldn’t get rid of no-matter how hard I tried, but it was worth it for me to live in that location. Plus, since I had lived in Australia, Indonesia and Hawaii for so long, I was not so bothered by these tiny creatures. The ones in Aus are in almost every house and they’re so big that a friend of mine once confused a roach with a mouse!

After I moved into this apartment last fall, I started my site and blog. I basically did nothing else but this and Venus Project stuff until I noticed Syberia Top on Instagram. I saw pictures of their awesome hikes and decided to pay for one 3-day trek to Chersky Peak. I’m usually not a big fan of paying for hikes, but since I didn’t know anything about hiking in Siberia, and there was already snow in the mountains (with temperatures of up to -20°C) I decided to pay for this organized trek. The hike was amazing. The people were super friendly and the Siberian wilderness was spectacular.

After the hike, I sent a text message to the organizers saying that I had lots of free time to help them out, in case they needed anything. Two weeks later they offered me a job! At that time, they were quite a new organization and only had 3 guides on their team. So the timing of my text message worked out perfectly because this happened to be the only weekend that Syberia Top was organizing two separate hikes and needed one extra guide. After this, they ended up taking me along on all of their weekend hikes, even though they didn’t really need me. Oftentimes, we were 4 guides and 10-12 clients :). And no, they didn’t do this because they wanted to get into my pants (as one TVP supporter recently implied); the main 2 organizers are a couple, and the 3rd one has a gorgeous girlfriend. They did this because I play ukulele :D And because they’re awesome :). I really didn’t do all that much on these hikes. I helped out a little bit with making food, but that’s really easy; apart from that, I just told some travel stories and played ukulele for everyone. So I told these guys that they didn’t have to pay me- I didn’t need their money, I was just stoked to go hiking with them! But they ignored that and gave me a bit of money for each trip anyway :).

I hiked with Syberia Top every weekend until the end of December. In December, I went to Tatarstan by railway to see my dad and grandma, then went back to Moscow with my dad. I spent all of January with my family, then took a train back to Irkutsk in February, stopping in Chelyabinsk on the way. It takes 4 days to get from Moscow to Irkutsk by train, but it costs less than $100. So this trip was very cheap!

I came back to Siberia and the guys at Syberia Top took me straight back to hiking! Now they’re getting busier and busier, doing two or more hikes each weekend, so now I actually get to help! (and not just play ukulele :))

I’ve been hiking every weekend since February and on the weekdays I’ve been having way too much fun with ice :D.

Since Lake Baikal froze over, I took the opportunity to go ice diving, hiking and 4WDing on the lake. I figured out the cheapest ways to do all of these things, so I still have not spent over $500/month on all living expenses while being here.

I had to move out of the cockroachie flat last month because the owner sold it, but I found a beautiful studio apartment in the same area, with a huge balcony, a view of the river and no roaches for about $300/month. I’m still mostly living off of my savings, but I just came up with a new idea that might help sustain my living situation here in Siberia for a bit longer.

This is it- “Siberian Adventures” :)

I want to start doing all inclusive adventure tours- hiking with Syberia Top + diving Lake Baikal and 4WDing on Olkhon Island. If it works, that will be awesome- I can make a few bucks doing what I love to do. If it doesn’t work, no big deal. I’ll live here until I get down to my last $1000 or so and then buy a flight to a rich country (probably Australia) and work for 3-4 months in a bar or something, save, quit, and then go back to doing what I like doing.

Life can be very simple, you see.

You just have to understand that it’s all a game, it really is. When you die none of this will matter at all. So what do you really have? Just life, that’s all. SO LIVE IT!

And try to understand the game.

 

One more thing that I decided to do while in Irkutsk is to host weekly English speaking discussion sessions. We will be discussing “The Reality Of Me” TROM :). So I’m kind of tricking people into listening to me :D. These people mostly just want to meet to practice English, but I will try to load them up with all sorts of important subjects :) We’ll be watching one or two videos per week from tromsite.com and then we will be discussing them. I made a VK group for these discussions, where I will be posting videos and other relevant material, and I posted this event on couchsurfing to attempt to find attendees. Last Tuesday was our first meeting and 11 people showed up! Half were my friends, half were couchsurfers :).

I am also considering hosting weekly online sessions about the same topics, in case more people around the world want to get together to chat about global problems and realistic solutions. I can connect with anyone in the world (that has internet) through jitsi. If you are interested in this, let me know and I will try to get it going.

And, of course, below are some more photos of ‘fun with ice’ :D

Finding Yourself

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I was hiking in the mountains this past weekend when a lady asked me whether I had left home to travel in order to “find myself.” I told her, “no, I just wanted to snowboard” :) That was the truth, but I thought about this a little bit longer and realized that I should have told her that there is no such thing as “finding yourself.” What “finding yourself” really means is understanding the world that you live in and how you relate to your environment.

So you’re not looking for yourself out there, you’re looking for a more realistic interpretation of the way the world works, how your environment affects you, and what you can do about that.

Once you have a clearer understanding of this, it will be much easier to figure out what you want in life, why you want it, and the realistic possibilities of how you can get it. When you finally do what you want (without worrying about how others may judge you), and you are genuinely happy with what you are doing in life (and you know why), then I suppose you can say that you “found yourself.” Maybe a better term would be “finding the world” ;)

How to understand the world? I can’t say that I know all that much about the way the world works, but I certainly learned a lot from leaving home. When you immerse yourself in a new culture and a new environment, you don’t only learn about that new culture and perspective, but you also come back home (or wherever else you go) and re-analyze your own culture and your own way of thinking, using bits and pieces of this new perspective. In other words, traveling could influence you to take an outside look at your own biases (also known as bs).

For example, I have a Jew nose :). We don’t know of any Jews in our family, but my grandfather used to say that “somebody must have screwed a Jew!” Because this particular looking nose pops out in every generation… very strong gene “the Jew nose” (nothing against Jews or Jew noses here :D).

I used to be self-conscious about my nose, and when I backpacked Indonesia this got even worse in the beginning because everybody kept on pointing at my nose, talking about it, and sometimes even grabbing it! But when I spent enough time with the local people in Bajawa, Flores (and they continued to talk about my nose), I realized that they were telling me that they thought my Jew nose was beautiful. They called it “long nose” and compared it to their “ugly” flat/short noses- which I thought were beautiful. They were also obsessed with my white skin color, constantly telling me that I was beautiful because I was white. I tried to tell them that the women from my country spend ridiculous amounts of money and do harmful things to their bodies to make their skin color browner! What the hell is beauty then? Since then, I stopped caring about my nose and how I looked in general; and this is quite a liberating feeling.

If you can’t (or don’t want to) leave home, there are many sources you can use to “find the world”.

 

Take a look at this book & video:

Lessons from the Venus Project: Education, Communication and Collaboration

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The world has become so complex, so fast, yet we are the same simple people, who individually, can barely make our own basic tools. One can say that it is because of a miraculous cumulative effort and ability to collaborate that we have gotten this far in industry and technology, but our individual brains are just as simple as they have been for tens of thousands of years, and can only handle what our environment feeds us. Which now is chaos.

Capitalism exploits competition, and as a result, creates a dominant global culture that intentionally exacerbates some of our worst qualities, such as egotism, greed and selfishness; making it difficult for us to not only have quality relationships with each other, but also to understand our basic environment and our own selves. If we cannot accept and understand ourselves, then how can we understand each other? How can we then effectively communicate, collaborate and strive towards making a better world?

It is hard for people, let alone the structures and institutions that we have created, to be able to keep up with such fast changes in our environment and to get a grasp of this global chaos. As a result, today’s educational system is for the most part irrelevant and ineffective in helping us progress as a species (let alone as the dominant species on Earth).

Today’s educational systems do not teach kids about what is relevant. -How the world works; how global institutions, global politics, global business, communication, etc., affect your local life. People rarely talk about what money is- most people don’t even think about it, yet money rules our planet and we just accept this. Sweatshops, factory farms, slaves mining for minerals used in our gadgets- this is all relevant.

Our dominant culture promotes the right for all people to say what they feel, and to participate in matters they know nothing about; as a result, creating an even more chaotic environment. Corporate and political systems take advantage of this naivete, giving more power to uninformed biased opinions that suit their needs. Think about the amount of power and control you give to the 1% when you so strongly believe that you should be able to participate in all matters, but you have little background knowledge of the subject and you don’t even realize that you are being influenced by the media and everything else in your surrounding that’s controlled by that 1%.

This does not mean that you have to completely disregard complicated subjects; it means educate yourself first, then participate. And recognize the relationship between power and manipulation.

Think about the background knowledge of those in power. Do they know how to solve problems like resource management, starvation, environmental degradation, inequality, etc.? I think they’ve had their chance and are failing horribly. The problems we have today are technical and politicians don’t have the technical background knowledge to solve them. What do the 1% have background knowledge in? Manipulating you. Making money at your expense and the expense of the planet.

Rather than focusing on communication and collaboration, today’s educational systems push competition. Competition gets in the way of us being able to understand what is relevant.

If we were taught about what is actually relevant in school, and learned how to think critically- analyze our current situation, and today’s world- then people would question the way the world works, hopefully see things clearer; and hopefully would want to work towards a future that would not kill our planet.

So, what to do? You educate people in the right direction- use education as a tool; but realize that education is not limited to school- we are influenced by every little element of our environment. Education should focus on what is relevant- our world, our surroundings, institutions, relationships, communication, etc. We need to learn how to use critical thinking- to observe, question and analyze everything. It is also important to teach people that it is beneficial to express when they don’t know something, and to use the scientific method as a basis for analysis and decision making.

Understanding behavior is fundamental to understanding people and being able to communicate with them. It is critical to comprehend that a person’s background and environment is the reason for their behavior. If you were brought up in Italy, you would behave like an Italian, regardless of what you look like. Would this be your ‘fault?’ No, that’s where you were born and raised- that wasn’t your choice. Same goes for being raised in Iraq, Sweden, China, Brazil, Australia, anywhere. We are all just human beings, and we can’t help being influenced by our environment.

Recognizing this should allow you to better understand the reason for a person’s thoughts or actions, thereby enabling you to put your own emotions or prejudices to the side. Using this kind of assessment as a tool can give you more clarity and ability to better analyze a given situation/statement/action and come up with more coherent conclusions.

This is very beneficial for expanding your own horizons. To understand and analyze behavior through examining a person’s background (and minimizing your own emotions towards their behavior) should allow you to take in a broader range of information. Nevertheless, you must keep in mind that when you do expand your horizons, you must continue to think critically- question and analyze everything; come up with your own conclusions.

It is critical to understand the limitations to both people’s ability to communicate (both you and the person you are communicating with). People can only communicate when they have a similar level of understanding of the given subject; otherwise there can be a lot of misinterpretation of the subject and miscommunication. For example, a botanist can only communicate with an engineer to a certain extent. They can talk about the weather, their kids, perhaps about how nice the bridge the engineer is building looks; but they will not be able to communicate about the intricacies of the building of that bridge, nor will they be able to delve deep into the subject of botany. This recognition should be applied to all conversations (i.e. you should check your own bs). Therefore, it is important to realize that people may not interpret the information that you are telling them exactly in the way that you want them to interpret it (and vice versa), because a person can only take in information if it meets with their own methods of evaluation and fits to their background knowledge.

Having an understanding of these limitations can be a tool that you can use for communication. If you are able to see where a person’s behavior is coming from, you can better assess what they are trying to tell you (or whether they understand you), and refrain from imposing emotions which get in the way of communication. Recognizing that a person may misinterpret what you are saying (because of their background) can allow you to attempt to come to their level of understanding, so you can better communicate. You may have to rephrase sentences and be very careful with words in order to suite a person’s background, as today’s language is filled with ambiguity. It is integral not only to listen to what the person is saying, but to pay attention to where this information is coming from, and the various interpretations that could exist. In addition, it is vital to note that there is always a purpose for communication; recognizing this purpose can be an additional tool to use to improve your understanding of the communication at hand.

In short, in our increasingly chaotic world, it is important to educate people about what is relevant, how to think critically, and how to improve communication and collaboration. Understanding a person’s background (where they’re coming from), the limitations of communication, and the purpose of communication will help you communicate with people more effectively and efficiently. If we all used these tools, we would be able to communicate better; we would be able to expand our horizons and gain more background knowledge. More background knowledge allows more people to effectively participate in more things, and to communicate better; this will feed into a positive spiral, allowing more people to be able to collaborate- and hopefully to work towards creating a brighter future on our planet.